Making a decision

Do you have “Dream”.

Absolutely, everyone has their own dream and make an effort to catch up their destination.

Life seem boring without challenging. Motivation and inspiration drive one’s breath to go on.

And my own dream is being child and adolescent psychiatrist…

By the way, any ways aren’t covered with carpet, the rough and difficult route color life colourful.

I found out myself 2 years ago when my rotation rotated to psychiatry department. I do love the way to approach the patients in mental aspect that rarely be met in other department. Most of doctors search for organic or medical condition and manage by medication and surgery perfectly but few of them search for the real cause of bio-psycho-social. Most of doctors try to advise the patients based on theory but few of them try to support and understand their patients’ feeling seriously.

Actually I realize that mental problems are the most common trouble of one’s life. No one never face suffering but how many of them can fix the trouble with matured coping. Mental problem vary from normal variant to mental disorder that closed relate to science and neurotransmitter which some of theory are proved already but most of them are questionable. I think it is such an interesting field and suitable with my character.

Once I dream to be the staff in medical school, have USMLE exam and train in residency and fellowship in USA…

The day of psychiatry training application is coming, this position is special due to the chosen one is internship only 1 year and start residency course immediately as well as get a special opportunity to be considered as a staff of Siriraj hospital, comparing with the common compulsory line to be intern 1 year follow by 2 years in suburb before coming for training. However only 1position is required.

Anyway this time I’m confused and still cannot make my decision.

Between applying in position of child and adolescent psychiatry resident that is my dream and being a doctor in suburb that no progression and waste my time 2 years … nothing must be confused, doesn’t it??

I desire acquisition of knowledge but lesson doesn’t appear only in school. I love teaching and being a teacher as well as doctor but class not only in a square room and in medical school, I can teach my patients, my junior doctor or my crews anywhere.

Progress can make my life flourishing, but I also yearn for experience of being real human.
I would like to going abroad to be an excellent physician, on the other hand I can be a good doctor that can take care of many patients after graduate in Thailand as well.

I’d like to go to rural district to get more experience…. It’s such an odd idea comparing with many of my friends who scramble for the way to be as close as downtown and facility for instance applying for fixing ward in large hospital or being in preclinic in medical school.

But I would like to make some benefit as a general practitioner as much as I can before I’ll take the rest of my whole life for psychiatrist. I do love to learn more in other aspect other than medical viewpoint for instance being in the position of community hospital administrator, being leader of hospital staff for health care, health promotion and health prevention, creating new project that is beneficial for my folk.

I have ever been suburb for 2 months when I was the 4th and 5th year for community research and family folder… I found out that I love this lifestyle. I can learn more from there for example lifestyle of folks, how to get along with nurses or other hospital staffs smoothly without conflict, how to be not only a good doctor but also perfect leader in community. I would like to be a little candle in dark place that much more valuable than being a common light in luminous area although merely short time of my life.

I realize that I’m too young including my though, my vision and my experience. hope to be much more matured and understand life better…

Am I a stupid girl if I will leave behind my best opportunity to apply as a staff of Siriraj hospital and go on being such a common doctor in rural area before coming training psychiatry.
Or apply as a staff of medical school to fulfill my dream to be a doctor as well as a teacher and I can make a benefit to society as well…

How can I do???