PRINCE MAHIDOL ‘s quote

I agree with Neumed, in the comment of my former post “MY CONFUSION”, the wealthy doctor can help people and do the charities much more than the poor ones. and he said that he cannot imagine how Greed distract me from my purpose… thank you very much for your trust in me… Neumed.
However this matter can consider in several aspects. Neumed’s opinion is right, but in another view of mine, I concern in this kind of wealthy doctor… I’ll clarify for you guys here…

Do you favor of being a businessman, investor or trader. I think these kind of career are challenging and interesting, most of them get prosperity and wealth. I usually admire in their brilliance to manage money and their business. Very sorry that I am very stupid in that way, cannot give you a good illustration for that.

However in status of DOCTOR, we are not a businessman, it’s ultimately different, I think. If you concern the MONEY and PROFIT as your priority, your purpose will be diverted by that. Your patients become your customers, their suffering become your gain. In order to make money you may give them over and unnecessary investigation, treatment or surgery. We can see that way in many of private hospitals, I suppose.

When that situation occur, Doctor who usually receive sincere respect and trust become the one that work for expense to exchange their service. So nowadays, many cases of doctors’ mistakes are prosecuted by their own vengeful patients. What a pity!!

Another aspect of wealthy doctor I’d like to discuss is which hospital you work. Absolutely, if you are an excellent one you can apply a job in private hospital or establish and manage your clinic as a business. It’s no doubt how prosperous you gain. On the contrary, the needy people cannot affort for that, only the hospital of government or in countryside you can work for them in case you are a real altruistic one . Absolutely, much more exhausted in lower expense…
So which one will you choose??

Ok!! I have an reasonable and excellent alternation. Work in the hospital of government for the poor patients on your weekday, make money in private hospital for your part time job and free of charge in treatment as a charity when the privilege come.

In conclusion, I’m certain that in career of DOCTOR you can get prosperity, flourish and wealth. However “the patients’ advantage must be considered first then wealth and fame will come to you…”
PRINCE MAHIDOL’s quote…

MY CONFUSION

i'm in confusion, ...

my purpose of studying Doctor is helping the needy people....
But you know??... what i'm worrid about now....

i'd like to get progressive in the future, being a wealthy and excellent doctor... providing the best thing for my lovely family; my granny, my mom and my aunt.

Every now and then, my family confront money problem... I cannot remember when the last time i ask them to purchase something for me... just saving and working for my desire by myself..
Being in Materialism and high class society usually make me have some problem sometimes... you can see that in TriamUdom (my high school) and Medical school, it's very difficult to find out the poor ones...

I use my own money for Entrance Tutoring fee, siriraj dorm, laundry and everything except School's fee that is in my mom's responsibility..
however you dont have to blame my family, please realize that they ultimately love me, honestly, they haven't known anything... it's all my idea, i wouldn't like to bother them much...

Maybe you cannot imagine what an economical girl i am!!
Can you believe I had never been in Cinema or had a special meal (except farewell or meeting dinner/lunch) with my classmates along 3years in my highschool level as well as 4years in Siriraj hospital, i always enjoy eating in cheap price in cafeteria, only very special occasion i have joined with others ...
Besides, I'm the one that always choose to order the cheapest menu that can make me fullest in each meal and avoid the dinner just because of saving my money... What a weird girl i am!!

I always wait for the day i graduate... the time that my mom keep away from hard work, my aunt finish her exhaustion and my beloved granny receive the best thing i can provide for her.

Greed, lust and Passion can change ones' mind... i realize that i'm weak now... My purpose to help others absolutely obvious in my mind... however I 'm yearning for Prosperity either...

Psychiatry is one of my favourite Department however, i worry that in Thailand, psychiatrist is not as flourish as other subspecialty such as Medicine phisician , i suppose.

What a bad girl i am!!!... i'm in weakness , aren't i??


... i must be strong.....
i must choose the most appropriate and my favourite one...

happiness is not depend on THE AFFLUENCE , but how SATISFIED you are... is the answer for that

Being a good doctor, i may not a well-off one however i'm sure i can take care of my family my best and make a benefit to patients ultimately... just choose my favored destination...

I'm in a SUFFICIENT life all along... What if i continue that way...

someone told me that...

"WISH TO BE WEALTHY IN YOUR DOCTOR STATUS... YOU MUST GET YOUR PROSPERITY FROM PATIENTS' GRIEF AND SUFFERING....

JUST STOP YOUR PASSION, REDUCE YOUR UNNECCESSARY DESIRE, YOU WILL EXPLOIT POOR PATIENTS LESS AND HELP THEM MUCH MORE"

VERY SORRY … FINALLY I CANNOT GO TO UMP PANG

I prepared myself for this camp all along 1 month, asked and granted this privilege to others and was usually disappointed when receiving cancel. But finally, I am the one that cannot get this opportunity… what a bad girl I am!!! You are much disappointed in me, aren’t you???

As everyone know from the news, a plenty of natural disasters happen, Cyclone Nargis in Myanmar: our neighbor country, earthquake in china, Tornado in USA, etc.. it seems God is punishing human for our fault. A numerous disaster is reflecting environmental carelessness and destroying of us…. WHAT A PITY!!!

The night before departure for my camp, my mom called me to beg for camp cancelling. Warning of flood and raining was declared by Meteorological Department, Tak, our destination was part of that area.

Actually, my mom and my family hadn’t agreed with me in traveling there, a long and dangerous journey at night. Ump Pang is a rural district that is faraway from Bangkok, going there must be taken 12 hours by bus along somewhat difficult way. Hard route along the mountain in rainy season and dark night journey make my family worried about my safety much. In addition, declaration of flood in that area make them disallow me decisively.

I realize that our life is very fragile as thread. Just a moment of ACCIDENT or any DISASTER can change our life, take away our breath. Anyway DEATH is not too horrible for the death at all. I may feel grateful for that to liberate me from the chaos of human life. On the contrary one’s passing away give ultimate grief to the living ones much more.
Besides unless God accept one’s death, how terrible life the one is to get handicap or paralysis instead!! It’s much more suffering to alive with collapsing hope and dream..

Finally I cannot resist my family’s opinion. Cancel this camp give me lots of regret as well. I have no idea when this privilege will come again… this time I can only pray for the other campers to be safe and make a numerous benefit to the poor children for me too…

Good Luck…

MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT!!!

Before my memory will fade away, my cautiousness and scare will vanish, let me keep my bad experience in my blog… again… to remind myself and warn you, the readers to be careful in each pace of your life.

This experience happened 3 months ago (on 17 Mar 2008). That period I must have compulsory course of my faculty in rural area to do research in aspect of COMMUNITY DIAGNOSIS in Petchburi, a province in Thailand… however my bad memory hadn’t occurred there at all…
On Saturday morning, one weekend in March, I received a call from my mom to inform about my grandmother’s passing away, she lived at Chiang Rai, Northern Thailand. According to this bad news my mom and I must headed to there immediately for my dad’s mom funeral ceremony.

Our first night of funeral ceremony was all right. The next morning, food and stuff for dedicating monks must be prepared, but we had not our own car or hired car around our home to go to market. Thus, we asked the young woman to ride motorcycle for us. Illegally, the driver, me and my mom, triple ones rode on the motorcycle without anti-knock helmets. After departing from our home just a moment, our motorcycle run along the way rightly, By destiny, I think, the white car with a DRUNK driver come from another route, CRASH at the mid of bike….. PUNG!!! …… THROW OF us to HIT the floor intensely.

I still remember that kind of feeling when I was flung away from the bike, while my left leg hit the floor strongly and my left hand, face and leg were drug through the gnarled surface of the road, HOW SCARED, SHOCKED and PAINFUL I am!! It’s still obvious until now.

Everything passed very fast, however I could recall every moment of that, seem to be slow motion in the movie, while I still lied on the floor, dared not to move or imagined how ugly face I am, tried to think it was just my dream, my left leg pain were stronger and my mom’s consciousness come first.

I just realized that I was in my mom embrace, she regarded me firstly and held me tightly… then called my dad and hospital for help.
Because of my extreme leg pain, I tried to move and look around my mom difficultly, Though my leg pained severely as if it were collapsed, I was sure it didn’t fracture. And because of my thick jean pants, just a large and somewhat deep abrasion appeared. On the contrary due to my mom wore just thin pants, I must be SHOCKED again to recognized that at the same position of me, her pants tore largely as well as her skin, the wound lacerated till I could see subcutaneous tissue and bone at pretibial site, the skin opened as the door and hang on the other site as a hinge, blood still poured continuously. This might be a familiar scene in Trauma or Surgery department that I could find frequently but I still cannot accept… that was the leg of my mom… I torture for that as well.

THE BAD MEMORIE passed already, my mom and I are safe and get well now..
However because of this disaster I haven’t been permitted to ride the motorcycle. The ACCIDENT happen rapidly, but my we must take long time for curing ourselves especially my mental status; my phobia still exists for months after that. Absolutely, I dare not to ride the bike, usually be anxious when traveling and cannot play any adventurous playing instrument in amusement park that I had favored.

It might be a misfortune and bad experience in my life.. however I still ultimately thanks god and get some benefit from that.

Firstly, thanks to still let us survive and safe till now. Imagine if it’s not our leg that crashed intensely the floor, but being our head, we might get intracerebral hemorrhage, paralysis,… who know…
And how about our life, how about my family that must take care of us, how about my dream to be a good doctor, the passing 4 year in medical school and all of my endeavor will be worthless. In conclusion it’s fortunate… we are still safe.

Secondly, I can learn more from this occurrence. Before this, I was a careless girl; walking, running, riding or doing everything without carefulness.
Though this accident gave me somewhat panic, it make me realize that everything is uncertain, DEATH can come any moment, hence you should be careful in every pace of you life and do the good deed as much as you can especially for your lovely family or your love one…
Before they or you pass away, before we cannot express our gratitude anymore, before we cannot do anything for them…. START RIGHT NOW… JUST DO IT!!!

Finally, please realize that no benefit from alcoholic use, on the contrary just disaster and bad health for you, the drinker. Especially, driving when you’re drunk…
How many cases like this, how many poor people that must be your preys and sacrifice their life for your amusing..
Imagine, if the death is the head of family, how much does this disaster affect..
Exactly, nothing can be compensated this loss even your valueless life, THE DRINKER..

SURGERY

I’m in Surgery Department now, 6 week duration in this one.

Surgery department for 5th year is separated in 2 parts, both of them have 2 weeks and a half for duration.
First one of mine consists of Plastic surgery, Pediatric Surgery and CVT, then being in Trauma and Neuro surgery in last 2 weeks and a half… it’s beneficial for us, we will have free time in the whole sixth week for preparing ourselves for examination

3days in Surgery have passed already that are not too bad.. Our work starts at 7am for ward round, lecture, OR, OPD or bedside teaching in the morning then small group lecture in the afternoon.
Absolutely everybody must get cases for attending and writing report… and I must have ones either. My first case is 47-year-old flame burned man that stay in Burn Unit…

It seems nothing is too hard for us in surgery, no evening ward round, no ward work, no overnight duty however I still feel somewhat exhausted. After my class, Other than approaching, taking care the patient and writing my report I have not any free time left, even for studying or preparing myself for the next day… so don’t mention about my exercise or nonsense activity

Today class just finished recently with practicing ICD (Intercostal Drainage). After watching demonstrating video, we moved to practice with a cadaver. The bad smelling of many days corpses could not be prevented by mask and made me feel a little sick. The cadaver’s skin is much more difficult to be sutured. Because they hadn’t been exam for HIV, we must be careful specially.

I’ve just realized that entering ICD tube is not as difficult as I suppose…
The MORE PRACTICE, the MORE YOU GAIN. Absolutely, if we collect many experiences in practicing, nothing is too difficult for our endeavor..
Anyway, in emergency time we usually make a plenty of mistakes, consciousness is the precious thing for that , hopefully, we can manage it safely for our patients in real life.

UMP PANG CAMP… I can manage it myself, can’t I…

AS I mentioned in my former post, I’m going to have a camp for poor students at Ump Pang, Tak, Northern Thailand. That time is coming very soon, who believe that until now I haven’t got members for that.

A camp is set up by Mrs. Nillavadee, an extremely kind and generous woman that is one of my beloved and respected person (I’ll introduce her kindness to you later).
Campers come from several faculties and universities that have same destination to make a benefit to those poor children. I was asked to participate this activity with my pleasant to receive a chance to fulfill my desire without knowing any else of those campers until now.

In order to accomplish my mission in aspect of Health care prevention and promotion as well as to grant others this great opportunity to do good action for needy people, I propose and ask some of my classmates to go there. It was very great at first to know many of them were interested in.

Anyway, have you ever heard that OBSTRUCTION usually occur and DEVIL always test your strength especially when you will do some goodness… I realize that achieving VIRTUE is much more difficult than doing nonsense matter..
Give you an instance, though you mean to go to temple, make a merit, be volunteer or even read your lesson, there must be something impede your way that mostly more influencing than your first determination… ON THE CONTRARY when you would like to do a nonsense or wrong matter for example going night club, drinking alcohol, etc. though you know they are not any benefit to your life, though you may get some of disaster from this, though your mom dislike this way of action… you still have such plenty of reasons for that…

ACTUALLY, I think everything depends on your strength, no hindrance can distract your mind as long as you still has steady destination. Unluckily, Most of us prefer convenience, amusement and artificial happiness rather than real one from doing good deeds to cultivate our blessing. Due to our minds can be leaded by those kind of feeling, it’s much easier to seek for many reasons for those pander. Hence, the most dangerous devil and generous angel exactly present in our own minds.

Honestly, I don’t quote or compare this reason to my friends at all.. I really feel grateful to them to determine to go there at first and realize that because of their reasonable matter made them cancel this activity, I can understand their reason.. All of them cannot go there..

Actually I feel very very lonely…. Think of my Tzu Chi friends much… I still remember their meeting, all of them shared their ideas, practiced their performance for camp hard. I still recall frankie’s photo in his blog to have rehearsal even in airport in order to have the best performance for poor children at China…
But ME now… without anything, without anyone… no meeting, no rehearsal, no plan… Can I do it really??

ABSOLUTELY, I WON’T GIVE UP… OBSTACLE happen not to discourage me, on the contrary it’s such a challenging test for my talent.
Above all, I’m not alone at all, I still have another lovely friend beside me… TOON, she confirm to go there until now…
So it’s absolutely not my unfortunate…. On the other hand…. Thanks God …..firstly, for sending me a trusted companion, secondly, to give us such a challenging situation.

Do you believe in me whether I can manage and create all of my activity… though it must be much more difficult and tired than having several companions. I still ultimately trust in ourselves, ME and TOON
Nothing can be completed by our strong mind and eventually you will realize that
WHAT ENTHUSIASTIC AND POWERFUL GIRLS WE ARE!!

Good Bye OBSTETRICS Hello SURGERY

6 weeks in Obstetrics passed with my 3 labor assisting and 3 perineorhaphy cases that I did myself. Due to everyone must get at least 3 experiences in delivering childbirth, there are usually some problems between classmate in each rotation that pass this department.

SELFISHNESS, GREED and LUST are fundamental Id in one’s mind, nobody can deny being that every now and then. We usually yearn for more experience, more knowledge and more chance though it may be recompensed by others’ loss…

I’ll exemplify the real case in OBS.
If you are the one that has got 3 cases already and you get a chance to do more… it’s your absolute right to assist labour of your own attending case, WILL you choose to follow this rule to complete your desire or to grant this privilege to some of your friends that haven’t done yet…?
I’m certain you must choose the latter right now, aren’t you?.. However PASSION is usually influence one’s mind when we are not too strong enough, you may choose the former on that occasion same as some of my classmate, who know…
If the former choice is chosen, Exactly, You must receive one more experience but you must be guilt all along and face to others’ blaming either,
On the contrary lots of gratitude from your friends to you and your pride for that, though you lost one chance to add one in many of your cases if you choose to give your mercy.

Hence… keep in your mind BEING STEADY AND GIVE YOUR KINDNESS TO OTHERS you will get a chance to learn more as well…

Finally, we finished this department without too severe problem.. most of us choose to help our friends first..

Anyway. though I’m somewhat happy in Gynecology last year, Obstetrics is absolutely excluded from my choices now. My favourite departments this time are Psychiatry, Medicine and Pediatrics…

PSYCHIATRY: I impressed in my professors’ way to approach the patients, most of doctors always treat only disease not human while the psychiatrist’s questions usually express their caring..

INTERNAL MEDICINE has most of challenging cases and this sort of knowledge can help a numerous people.

PEDIATRICS is one of my interesting just because of children’s prettiness. ><

By the way, learning in any FACULTY or any DEPARTMENT can cultivate your blessing and make a benefit to society as well…. Just choose your favourite and proper one, be responsible in your job and try to do everything your best…

And SURGERY is waiting for me this week, though I wouldn’t like to be surgeon, surgical knowledge is interesting… hopefully, I’ll enjoy there. ^^

THE WEEK BEFORE MY EXAM

5 weeks in OBSTETRICS passed rapidly, the last week with my examination is coming.

2 things that influence me happen in the week before my exam.

FIRSTLY, my residual volume decrease with my tight uniform T-shirt and skirt.
OH! It’s very difficult to breath and do anything after my meal… if my abdomen is palpated, you may misunderstand I’m a pregnant girl but absolutely, uterine fundal height mustn’t be found, you will touch only my soft fat… haha

MY HYPOTHESIS of my increasing abdominal circumference are…
Firstly, because of I am vegetarian, just vegetable and rice are permitted by myself. While the food seller usually give rice much less than before because of the extremely high price of RICE, my received calories decreasing significantly, it’s not enough for me until my next meal. Hence I am hungry more often and have something little by little almost all day. ><

The second hypothesis is my examination coming, the lesson I concentrate on, seem a kind of effective sedative. My eyes can close easily while my studying, Eating can awake me all along my reading.. do you have an experience like this??

I solve this problem by taking fruit instead of high calories biscuit or sweet (*^_^*)
Haha^^ the first matter is nonsense, isn’t it? Just relax you, the readers.

THE SECOND ONE is I applied to be a member of Tzu Chi foundation in Thailand already… it’s such a good news for me!!
As I mentioned in my former post, I haven’t heard this name until my opportunity to go there.
After coming back Thailand, I searched for Tzu Chi in my country and this is my first time to do something for that..
It’s very exiting, I’m going to wear Tzu Chi uniform, do activity such as being volunteer, donating for a charity and making some benefits to society same as my friends in Tzu Chi University and Tzu Chi members around the world. However most of Tzu Chi members in Thailand are Taiwanese... very few thai people know this foundation

I am very surprised to find out that most of Tzu Chi books which I bought from Taiwan are translated in Thai language as well … wow!! But I still prefer reading in English to practice my skill ^^

But do you think I can participate in that volunteering works really???
everything may be just my dream..
Because of busy time in hospital, early morning and late evening ward round, a lot of case reports, many classes on weekday and my duty and studying on weekend..
All of my works in my responsibility can completely separate me from any other works..

It’s a pity that I may not do them as many as my wish..

Anyway, I realize that studying medicine must be my priority… An excellent and conscientious doctor is my dream as well. I cannot reach that destination without my endeavor..

Imagine if I’m a stupid doctor… because of my laziness, no responsibility, no paying attention in patient cases, not enough knowledge in my skull..
When graduate medicine… how many cases that be maltreated, how many patients that get disaster by this.. I may kill somebody accidentally because of my dullness who know…
So if you are a doctor either … I’m sure you realize this as well, don’t you??

Then let’s make an effort together in order to safe others and keep ourselves away from guilt in the future…

(Ok I must go on my studying for my OBS exam on this Thursday… see ya after that.. Byebye ^^ )

Ump Pang Camp.. HOW could i go there

several days i haven't written my blog..

My examination is coming soon , however i'm not serious anymore about Obs examination now.. maybe due to our dead time hasn't come. ><

do you love an adventure?? Long-Kang (ล่องแก่ง) and T Lau Su , one of beautiful water fall in thailand...

However, that is not my main topic to mention and not my purpose to have a trip at all. But in order to be volunteer and do a charity, i'm going to have a camp and teach poor children in countryside at Aum Pang, Tak; a province in northern Thailand.
This plan was inside my head few weeks ago since Fah's mom; a generous woman that usually do a charity, she ask me to participate in this activity... Absolutely, i didn't hesitate to accept this chance, 3 days and 3 nights (on 16-18 May, long vacation for Visakabhucha day) camping at Aumpang...

This time is not my first camp at all.. i used to volunteer in a camp for sunami children in Suratthani about 3 years ago..
Absolutely, that was my good experience and nice feeling to make some benefits to society and i'm sure this will be another impression of mine. My own camp mission is teaching them in aspect of health promotion and prevention mainly, but details haven't been planned yet.

Honestly, i must tell you that i've just known we will have Water Fall trip after my decision to go there that vitalize me more to wait for it attentively..

By the way... Actually, i'm the only one doctor in this camp. But Kae and Toon (my classmates) ask me to go there after my telling about it. According to her detemination I have 2 partners now to be volunteer and have a trip together...

Hopefully, the weather will be all right that period and i'm sure this is my privilege to get a great experience again...

And i will post my photos and story about my camp here certainly..
^^